English version | To be continued: Where is my teenage dream?

12 Nov 2022
By Pureza Fleming

"If I knew 20 years ago what I know today, I would do it all the same." It is often said that life is what happens while we are distracted making plans. While this is not an absolute truth, it is more than certain that life rarely unfolds as we idealize it. Of course, we only realize this "later," when we look back at adolescence with the tenderness of someone who has already accepted the ups and downs of fate. And it's all right.

"If I knew 20 years ago what I know today, I would do it all thesame." It is often said that life is what happens while we are distracted making plans. While this is not an absolute truth, it is more than certain that life rarely unfolds as we idealize it. Of course, we only realize this "later," when we look back at adolescence with the tenderness of someone who has already accepted the ups and downs of fate. And it's all right.

Twenty years is a lot of days and in two decades you can fit a lot of life: countless interrupted dreams, copious plans that never came to be, but also a lot of surprises, reams of twists and turns, and amazement until it's enough. In short, life happening. It is curious to reflect about the dreams we drew for ourselves during adolescence because, in the end, they stay where they should stay, which is during adolescence. This is not an absolute rule, the truth is that at the age of puberty and all the phase it embraces, we know very little - either about ourselves or about life. And, because we don't know, not everything we think is, is. And not everything we think we long for is what we really long for. This, because life is what it is supposed to be; and because much of what we think it will be - or how it will be - is not. Sounding messy and complex, it actually is (but that's just the way life is, messy and confusing). I have a phrase tattooed on my right arm which, alluding to the song by Édith Piaf, says "Je Ne Regrette Rien" (I regret nothing). I got it tattooed at a time when I was realizing that all the episodes, among the adventures, fortunes and/or successes that have happened to me throughout my life, have had an intention.

Most of the time they had their purpose and led me, I dare say almost always, to a place of greater understanding - about myself, about life, and about what we are "here" to do. Each person has his or her own conception of what the ultimate purpose of life is, but in my understanding the purpose of "being here" is to get to know ourselves and to evolve as persons and human beings. In a way, we are not here to fulfill what we think we should be, but rather what life feels is right for us, what we need most, regardless of whether it is pleasant or not. As the Rolling Stones would say: "You can't always get what you want / But if you try sometime you'll find / You get what you need". Not withstanding all these assumptions, the dream commands life. Being a teenager full of desires, goals, and objectives is part of human existence, and it is just as well. Dreams give meaning to life. It has been proven that those who don't dream feel that life is meaningless: they become discouraged, depressed, and lack motivation.

Dreams - or purposes - provide the necessary strength when we need to move forward, face life's challenges, and not give up when faced with difficulties and the innumerous "no's" that it offers us on a platter. Let's just say that dreaming is good for us and is recommended. And in adolescence, being in such a challenging stage, it is crucial to dream, to dream a lot. Among my teenage dreams, which were more than many, I see today, and with pride, that some of them came true. Namely, writing. Particularly, writing for Vogue. Because dreams are also the gasoline of our life - they drive us, give us a sense of direction. Other dreams have fallen by the wayside. However, many of these dreams I no longer remember precisely, perhaps because they were not part of my destiny. At the same time, there are others that can be recovered later, because while there is life there is hope - and if this is accompanied by a good dose of will, even better.

In early 2022, after a series of years full of challenges and adversity, I decided to start taking ballet. I had taken ballet when I was six years old - all the girls in my class were doing it - but at the time that activity didn't make sense to me, so I gave up. As the years went by I found myself a ballet lover and an avid follower of this activity. When, at the age of 40, I decided to join a ballet studio, I fell madly in love with ballet. It has become part of me and my life, I dance four to six days a week, and I notice in myself a talent that I feel I wasted the day I gave up, not having the slightest idea that in the future I would feel such an overwhelming passion. Every time I look at my arm and read the phrase "I regret nothing", I think that maybe I do regret it. Maybe I regret not having pursued ballet, because if I had, I might have been a principal dancer at the Royal Ballet School or the Vaganova Ballet Academy today.

Maybe. Or maybe not. But it is precisely this maybe that entangles us. It is this maybe that wrings our necks putting us face to face with the past while we dwell on the "what if...". It turns out that neither the "maybe" nor the "what if..." gets us anywhere, because the past is gone and all we have is the today and the now. "Better late than never," the popular saying goes, so why not start ballet again at 40? Answering the question "Where is my teenage dream?", I would say that it is where it should be: in the past. In the dreams that never saw the light of day, in the diaries full of fantasies, in the instants that were, passed by, and stayed there. And they stayed there because they belonged there, in the past, twenty years ago. As the philosopher and writer Allan Watts would say, "I have realized that the past and the future are real illusions." The present, on the other hand, living up to its name, manages to be the greatest gift there is.

Translated from the original on The 20th anniversary issue, published November 2022.Full story and credits in the print version. 

Pureza Fleming By Pureza Fleming

Relacionados


Compras  

SOS lábios: 12 bálsamos hidratantes para experimentar este inverno

07 Feb 2025

Moda  

Timeless | Editorial de Moda

07 Feb 2025

Moda   Compras  

14 joias com carimbo português para oferecer no Dia dos Namorados

06 Feb 2025

Eventos   Tendências  

Este foi o acessório que toda a gente usou durante a Semana de Moda de Copenhaga

06 Feb 2025