English Version | “Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes” - Unknown

14 Apr 2022
By Pureza Fleming

In the movie The King’s Speech (2010), Colin Firth’s character confesses “Waiting for me to... commence a conversation, one can wait rather a long wait.” The film portrays the fight between King George VI and his stutter: an unnecessary fight since, according to experts, stuttering is what happens when one attempts to not stutter.

In the movie The King’s Speech (2010), Colin Firth’s character confesses “Waiting for me to... commence a conversation, one can wait rather a long wait.” The film portrays the fight between King George VI and his stutter: an unnecessary fight since, according to experts, stuttering is what happens when one attempts to not stutter.

In school, they used to call him “Stutterhead” and was constantly teased: “H-H-H-H-Ei, J-J-J-J-J-Joe B-B-B-B-Biden.” The boy felt shame and embarrassment. He was afraid that his colleagues would think there was something wrong with him. There wasn’t. There never was. The stuttering boy, that used to be bullied in school, is now the President of the United States. In a New York Times article named Joe Biden’s Stutter Is His Superpower, published in 2020, the current President of the United States remembers a piece of valuable advice his mom gave him: “Joey, don’t let this define you” — the same advice he spread the message in order to encourage (still insecure) stuttering young people. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, stuttering is defined as “a disorder of vocal communication marked by involuntary disruption or blocking of speech (as by abnormal repetition, prolongation, or stoppage of vocal sounds)”, stuttering is described by the World Health Organization as an “a disorder in the rhythm of speech in which the individual knows precisely what they wish to say, but is incapable to do so because of involuntary movements of the face and body. In Portugal, it's estimated that the disturbance of fluency affects from 0,7 to 1% of the adult population. According to Lina Marques Almeida, a speech therapist, “this change of verbal communication is characterized by a speech with prolongings, blocks, broken words and repetitions that can be in sounds or syllables of a word and/or monosyllables.” The causes for stuttering can vary, but the genetic condition prevails: “It’s common for parents to come into the consultation and ask “where does the stutter come from” and we explain that it might be hereditary, neurological or psychosocial, the last one is more so related with the pressure felt by a child after the family finds out about the stutter. Family members might insist that the person speaks correctly, triggering negative emotions like anxiety, fear, and stress when it comes to speaking. It’s important to demystify that stuttering doesn’t just come after some kind of scare or trauma”, reports the therapist.

José Carlos Domingues, a person with a stutterer and the President of the Portuguese Stuttering Association confirms the hereditary factor in his stutter: “About 60% of people that stutter have people in their family that share the issue. I have it on both sides of the family. There’s a genetic predisposition associated with the neurophysiological changes that, depending on some environmental factors, might result in a stutter.” Rosa Paula Neves, a stutterer, and English and German teacher confirm the theory: “My stutter is hereditary: my mom, her brother, and my grandpa all stutter. My brother too.” Even though the teacher doesn’t quite remember when her stutter first began, she’s sure it was when she was a child. “When it comes to the invisible part, the suffering, it grew after middle school and until my last year of college. I wanted to be a teacher, I studied at FLUP [Faculty of Letters - Porto University] so I could achieve it and, when it was time for me to do an internship, the panic of the arena alongside the complete absence of therapeutical help, made me go back two years and follow the path of translation instead. That way I’d be protected behind a computer screen”, she explains. José Carlos Domingues remembers how the first memories he has of his stutter are around the time he was four or five years old. “Not talking about the stutter around the child can be beneficial to a degree. Recognizing the difficulty of the child doesn’t have to be negative. Something that shouldn’t be done is finishing the child’s sentences and words. It’s also not advisable to tell them to speak slower, to think before they speak, or to take a deep breath. This only makes the situation worse, since it’s not effective, it only frustrates the child.” He clarifies: “Stuttering isn’t a breathing issue. The stutterer knows perfectly well what they want to say, there’s no need to think before they speak. Listening to the child patiently ends up relieving the time pressure and reduces the dysfluency issues. It is also very positive to keep eye contact, avoid showing any kind of worry or pity, or repeat what the child said to demonstrate you were listening. Something very positive is to show that stuttering isn’t an issue. Recognizing that the child stuttered, but that everything is alright with that! Tolerance and acceptance help out a lot. Speaking openly about the stutter can be a huge relief when it comes to simplifying the matter.” Rosa Paula Neves adds that stuttering only intensifies with fatigue and that one of its biggest peculiarities is the fact that it's so inconsistent. “We have periods of time where we might stutter a lot, in others less. We can have all four seasons in only one day.”

Similar to what happens with everyone, stutterers or not, there are situations where the speech just flows better and others where it’s more complicated. “They say speaking in public is one of the most common fears — stutterers or not. It’s all about this idea that really needs to be deconstructed — a stutterer can be a good communicator. Because this is what it’s about: more than speech, it’s about communication. Like in everything when it comes to stuttering (and life), it’s about courage, not letting that stuttering stops us from being where I want to be” Because the stutter is always going to be there. I can stutter but that doesn’t mean I won’t say the things I want to say”, highlights José Carlos Domingues. Feelings of frustration or of lack of control inevitably end up rising. “A sentence that I find interesting is that ‘stuttering is what happens when you try not to stutter. Sometimes, by trying not to stutter, we adopt counterproductive strategies (substituting words, introducing interjections), that only make the speech less natural, only raise the “issue”, they worsen our relationship with the stutter — because the “issue is more so related to with the relationship we have with the stutter than in the difficulty in saying a word. Stuttering isn’t just stuttering: it’s the fear to stutter, it’s blaming ourselves for stuttering (and for not speaking, for not saying what we wanted to say). It’s a vicious cycle, like a snowball that just gets bigger and bigger…”, alerts José Carlos Domingues. The issue of tranquility is pertinent, but just like he says, “it’s necessary to be careful to not think of stuttering as an anxiety-related issue. It’s something we have to learn to deal with, to be at peace with it, without conforming. The more we accept it, the less we let it silence us, so we can be truer to ourselves. And stuttering doesn’t have to assume a relevant role in every single moment. We can say that overcoming a stutter is more about losing the fear, than just attempting to forcefully try to sop it. And that we can only achieve by stuttering!”

Then there’s the issue of context. Rosa Paula, the English and German teacher, realized very early on, that she stuttered less in these two languages. She understood as well that if she practices speaking in the morning, her fluency is better throughout the day, especially if she doesn’t have any kind of “embarrassment” in the first few hours of the day. “My stutter has gotten better with the development of my career. To me, having success with a stutter means progressively accepting the embarrassing moments, to a degree that sometimes those moments go by unnoticed, or even better, I don’t mind so much when they happen. The fluid stutter as some call it”, she exclaims. She reveals that it’s when she’s around her kids she stutters the most, since they also stutter, so the effort to be on alert is reduced. And what about dates? “I confess that a motive to stay on alert and, in the beginning, try to hide it, is what makes me very anxious. People, in general, react really poorly to my stutter.” Anxiety and nervousness are real and are, sometimes, associated with a stutter — but they’re the effect, not the cause like José Carlos Domingues reminds us. “There are several stereotypes associated with people that stutter: that they’re shy, introverted nervous, anxious, not intelligent. That a stutter is incompatible with professional success, or that stutterers have to have jobs that don’t involve speaking. I imagine that many of these stereotypes come from fluent people that have stuttered at a given time in their lifetime, like when they’re nervous. When it comes to intelligence, we know there’s no connection between that and stuttering. There are several successful people that stutter.” Whether we’re talking about a transitional stutter or a chronic one it's important that all people that are around children and/or adults with a stutter understand that a positive attitude sparks change in the communicative process. Lina Marques de Almeida gives us some advice: “Don’t tell someone to ‘speak slower’ or to ‘be calm’. Telling someone that stutters to take a ‘deep breath’ or to ‘think before they speak’ doesn’t help. It’s a myth. This ‘advice’ makes it that the person feels hyper-aware of their disfluencies and when they try to put that advice into practice, they get frustrated because it doesn’t work.” According to the therapist, there are certain do’s and dont’s one must keep in mind when you’re leading with a person that stutters: “Don’t finish their words for them. Wait for your time to speak and listen to the other. For the person that stutters it's easier to speak when there are no interruptions and the attention’s on them. We should always wait for the person to end up speaking and keep eye contact. We shouldn’t interrupt the person that stutters because, more often than not, it can make them go back on the issue, making them take longer and causing frustration.” She adds its important to be alert to the content of the message and not the way it's said and insists that we should “speak if stuttering like we speak of any other issue.” Because the truth is told, stuttering is not a flaw a person should be ashamed of. It’s just a characteristic like any other. Or, as José Carlos Domingues writes, a stutter is not — nor should it be — a seven-headed monster: “Stuttering can be an annoyance, but it's up to us to not let it stop us from being who we really are.” Solemn word of a stutterer.

Originally translated from Vogue Portugal's The Quote Issue, published April 2022.For full credits and stories, check the print version.

Pureza Fleming By Pureza Fleming

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