English Version | Sweet serial killer, I love you just a little too much

Few things attract us as strongly as the unknown. There's no escaping the unstoppable stimuli that our curiosity provokes. Of course, there are different levels, we don't all suffer from Sherlock Holmes syndrome, but it's in our nature as humans to submit to our curious side. The adrenaline that fear and uncertainty provoke works almost like dopamine for our brains. They're like likes on Instagram for the bravest.

I remember the first horror movie I saw: Friday the 13th - I don't know which of the 47,000 sequels. I was around three or four years old, my dad was in the living room watching it and I couldn't sleep. I cuddled up on the sofa as if I were watching another episode of Sailors of the Moon. I don't remember feeling afraid, but rather curious. Why was a giant in a field hockey mask chasing a bunch of kids in a hut? What had happened to make them play a more aggressive version of catch? It was all a mystery to me. Since then, from my teenage years to adulthood, I've been a fan of “macabre” content. And the premise is still there. Not out of fear, but always out of curiosity. Always attracted by the mysterious stories that are at the heart of almost all these narratives. Unless you're a certified psychopath or a serial killer who signs for Vogue Portugal in prison, this is all uncharted territory.

On July 31, 2024, new episodes of Unsolved Mysteries premiered on Netflix, and on October 2, yet another batch of new episodes. A series that is already in its 17th season and is older than I am (it premiered in January 1987), and which prompted the writing of this article. Because, for the first time in my life, someone who had little interest in true crime content was fascinated by the possibility of solving a mystery from the comfort of their own home. That WhatsApp meme/gif/sticker of Leonardo DiCaprio sitting in an armchair pointing straight ahead, taken from Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood? That's me. A real sofa detective. And yes, yet another reference to a heinous crime that we can't help knowing more about. But I'm not the only one. One of the reasons that most attracts the public to this type of story is that they are real puzzles. You're actually solving a problem in real-time - not in a trench coat and a brimmed hat, but in a robe and house slippers. “I feel a certain attraction to puzzles and puzzles. Knowing that a certain event has yet to be solved stimulates my ability to imagine and construct arguments,” says António, a friend and unconditional fan of Unsolved Mysteries. “But I don't always feel comfortable trying to come up with a solution, because I assume that what attracts me is precisely its mysterious nature.” On the other hand, another friend, Gonçalo, tells me that it's “the macabre stories - which we have no idea happen every day - that lead us, as human beings, to commit certain acts and the complexity of each one of us” that drives him to consume this content.

Dean Fido, professor of psychology at the University of Derby Online Learning believes that the fascination with these mysteries, particularly true crime mysteries, is related to problem-solving: “Whether it's good or bad, we need something to create an element that excites us. And when you mix that desire with a conclusion and the solving of a puzzle, it can give you a short, strong jolt of adrenaline, but in a relatively safe environment.” Katherine Ramsland, professor of forensic psychology and master's director of the Criminal Justice program, corroborates this theory with three reasons why we become addicted: we see terrible things to make sure we are safe; content based on real crimes is often marketed as puzzles that we want to solve; and they are challenges that stimulate the brain. On the other hand, they are also a way for us to experience and learn something from really terrible things, without having to go through any danger. This is what Roz Watkins, author of The Devil's Dice, recommended as book of the month (April 2018) by The Times, believes.

But how did I get here? By immersing myself in intense binge-watching when a series comes out that glamorizes these heinous crimes? I was flying to Barcelona and my seatmate was watching Ryan Murphy's new series, Monsters: The Story of Lyle and Erik Menendez, while I was writing this article. And the truth is that my attention was divided - I was fascinated by the series and by how something so sensationalist had me so hooked. In 2017, the scientific journal National Library Of Medicine published a study by Suzanne Oosterwijk, in which she analyzed the morbid curiosity of human beings concerning violent crimes. “If people tend to explore these stimuli that depict death, violence or damage, it's because it gives them useful help in dealing with future negative situations.” But it's still a form of escapism and entertainment. “The same thing happens when you're in line for a roller coaster or outside a haunted house,” says Patricia L. Bryan, a law professor at the University of North Carolina at Chappel Hill. “There's something fascinating about facing danger when it's not real or personal. Human beings like to be scared or to see the darker sides of someone's mind. Some say it helps prepare us for the violence we face in our own lives.” It's no coincidence that the majority of the audience is women (in a universe of 34% of Americans who listen to podcasts about true crime, women represent almost twice the audience of men, according to a study conducted by the Pew Research Center), who see this type of true crime content as a learning aspect. Many of the women I spoke to admitted that they watch this type of program because they want to try to understand what happened and try to solve it. “I adopt an observer's stance, gathering clues, drawing up mind maps. I try to fill in the mystery with answers and this leads me to investigate small details in the characters that might indicate something that isn't obvious,” Joana told me. These mental exercises help us to develop what we might consider survival skills. Whether subconsciously or not, there is something that stays with us and that we begin to instill in our daily lives. Something as banal as locking your door or being even more aware of what's going on around you. Or even understanding how the darker side of the human mind works and creating our defense mechanisms for imminent dangers. On the other hand, true crime content can help increase a sense of justice, where we better understand how it works or feel a sense of relief when it prevails. “It's so far from my reality, from what normally goes through my head, that it's disturbing and exciting at the same time to try to decipher the thoughts that lead to deviant behavior. It's an attempt to understand what is difficult to explain.” Ana, who is also as addicted as I am to these series, believes that, in a way, this keen curiosity about other people's minds led her to want to go to therapy. “That and the moments when I feel I lose control over my actions. You never know if one day I'll wake up wanting to stab someone.”

But there is also the darker side of this obsession that we can see as red flags: mental states such as paranoia and anxiety or the impact it has on the lives of the victims' families. On Reddit forums, there are many testimonies of feelings of guilt combined with giving up the consumption of this content for the sake of mental health. “I realized that I started to be afraid of everything and avoided doing many of the things I wanted to do in life”. Another user explained that the turning point was when he realized that he was using these types of podcasts as white noise while he was doing other activities. “I was listening to a brutal murder and dismemberment of a young woman and that's when I realized that this would be a terrible thing to listen to in the background.”

The truth is that mental health is closely linked to the consumption of true crime. Whether it's for the reasons we've already discussed, on a more psychological level, or in an attempt to deal with past traumas, almost as if it were a kind of therapy, this consumption is still very present in our lives. Perhaps it's the sensationalist way it's portrayed in the news when something real happens and we're all captivated by the news. In the 1700s, 1800s, and early 1900s, public executions were seen as popular events where families gathered in the town square to watch “justice being done”. This horrifying spectacle works in the same way as this type of content. We are watching something that causes us fear and a feeling of discomfort and adrenaline in a safe and harmless environment.

American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Dahmer - Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, or the aforementioned Monsters: The Story of Lyle and Erik Menendez, go straight to the top of the most watched for weeks as soon as they premiere. House of Gucci was talked about everywhere before, during, and after its theatrical release. The world's top podcasts on Spotify and Apple have between two and three related to true crime. Murderers like Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer received fan letters in prison. Yes, macabre. But the boasting of these “monsters” to the status of world celebrities is the result of our obsession with the subject. It becomes a living wheel between news media, television series and our gaze glued to the screen in indiscriminate consumption, as in the case of the murder of Gianni Versace, one of the most controversial and talked about crimes in the history of the United States. Films, articles, TV series, and a plethora of content came out of it and romanticized it. If there's one lesson to be learned from this, it's that however much we want to solve the puzzle, we may have an even bigger problem to solve - our obsession.

And this obsession isn't going to let up. Today it's a Netflix true crime series. Tomorrow it will be something else. At least, as long as there is a basic and powerful emotion that moves us, called fear and everything that comes from it, we will continue to feel this need for unbridled consumption of this content. And I say this while I have one eye here and one on the screen next to me, continuing to watch the series that premiered this week about two murderous brothers. And by the time this article is published, I'll have finished it, but there will also be a new true crime story to get hooked on. 

Originally translated from The Mystery Issue, published October 2024. Full credits and stories are in the print issue.