English Version | Birthing conflict

“Feminists treat all men as potential sex offenders.” “There is no such thing as sexual discrimination.” “Feminism is the reason for low fertility rates.” The statements could have been taken from any one of the multiple online forums where thousands of men congregate to put the onus of all their misfortunes on the female gender. However, the sentences above are quotes from Yoon Suk Yeol, the current president of South Korea. His opinions are like gasoline to a cultural fire that refuses to be extinguished. For the second time in a row, South Korea has the lowest birth rate in the world. Today's abysmal birth rate was inconceivable fifty years ago. In the 1970s, each woman in South Korea had an average of six children. Current fertility rates stand at 0.79 and forecasts are not optimistic, with a projection of 0.68 in 2024. Women are blamed for the figure, vilified for their refusal to accept a sexist society. For the South Korean government, the fertility rate is a feminist problem, but for the female population, it is a result of the country's profound gender inequality. 

“Where do we start with a subject this big?” Meera Choi is a doctoral candidate in sociology at Yale University. In recent years, the sociologist has become the expert to consult when it comes to addressing the current political situation in South Korea. Although she hesitates to start her speech, the researcher begins with two characters: “4B” “This is the current feminist movement in South Korea and consists of refusing and boycotting sex, declaring marriage and pregnancy, particularly within heterosexual unions, as a form of feminist activism.” The term translates into four no's: no to sex with men, no to pregnancy, no to dating men, and no to marriage with men. “It's not the first feminist movement to exist in South Korea, but it's certainly the most famous. Through social media, this form of boycott is a direct response to what I call the epidemic of sexual violence in South Korea. In 2016, the famous Seocho-dong murder case, where a woman was killed in a public toilet, marked its foundation. It's staggering to understand the amount of violence that South Korean women have to tolerate, especially in heterosexual relationships.”

But, according to Meera Choi, the turning point for a large majority of women was when the industry that profits from the sexual exploitation of women was revealed. “There was an infamous case of the use of the application called Telegram where approximately fifty thousand men were recording and sharing sexual encounters with women in a non-consensual way.” We assure you that the number is not a translation fault. The doctoral candidate repeats the word for those who think to disregard the seriousness of the case - “fifty thousand men.” According to Choi, the anger felt by Korean women was exacerbated when it was revealed that this community was not only focused on sharing videos between adults but also others who exploited the sexuality of minors. “This movement that is so distorted by a conservative government is just the revenge-seeking of a population that puts women's lives in danger without any form of punishment.”  

It's hard to understand the number of people joining this movement. According to Choi, publishing or supporting the movement in public has risks. In the southern city of Masan, a coworker of Eva Laun-Smith, an English teacher to elementary school children, turns to her and whispers, “You know, I actually support feminists.” According to the American, who has been in the country since 2021, the 4Bs movement is silent outside the capital. “It's hard to understand who believes in what, it's never talked about openly.” Laun-Smith confesses that perhaps it's because she's a foreigner, but that even among friends, “it's a kind of taboo.” “Even without statistics, there was an investigation by a South Korean newspaper which revealed that the majority of young people between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five are aware of the movement,” says Choi. But even among the majority of the younger generation, the sociologist identifies that President Yoon Suk Yeol's narrative is false. “What this wave of feminism projects is a future without men, this is obviously a radical position, but even in its extremism, blaming birth rates on the female gender is a fallacy.” According to the researcher, the issue is far more complex. From unfavorable economic conditions to pessimism about the future, “there is a nihilism among the younger generations who see the world as not very hopeful.”

This view of the world is strange for a country whose Western perception is so, for lack of a more accurate term, lively. Between the growing popularity of K-pop and Kdramas, South Korean entertainment has won over Western audiences with impressive speed. However, according to Choi, the past images of South Korean society are sanitized versions of reality, designed with the attraction of the West in mind. “Especially when it comes to masculinity in South Korea, I think there is a huge disparity between foreign perception and domestic reality.” The sociologist elaborates, “In K-pop, male idols are sold as innocent, effeminate men, but that's not the reality in South Korea.” For Choi, this image is created intentionally, a direct response to the stereotypes that East Asian men have to face. “In Western eyes, a South Korean man is undesirable, and emasculated compared to his peers, but in the Korean context, this feeling is not shared. In our society, the man is considered the head of the family, the aggressor, the person responsible for sexual crimes.” For the sociologist, it is because of the way women see their fathers, or rather their mothers, that South Korean feminism is so assertive. “Even women who don't align themselves with the 4Bs movement live by the notion that it's hard to find a decent man, especially after seeing their mothers suffer at the hands of such a deeply sexist society.” 

In addition to the largest gender pay gap in the OECD country, South Korea does not hide the disparity between women and men and at the same time refutes accusations of sexism. In 2021, the Seoul municipal government published a series of guidelines for pregnant women to " educate” women on how to have a successful pregnancy. Among the obvious suggestions were others such as “preparing instant foods like soup to spare the husband who is unfamiliar with cooking,” or “preparing clean clothes for the husband for the days he will have to spend in hospital after giving birth.” But surely the most shocking is the one that mentions the “need to buy a headband since the hair is disheveled at the time of delivery and a sloppy appearance is not desirable.” This publication by a government body is enough to understand the level of cultural disparity between the genders, but one statistic never hurt. When it comes to housework, working women spend more than three times as much time on domestic chores as their husbands. 

Patriarchy is a form of social, cultural, and domestic organization common to most of the world, yet it is undeniable that its South Korean version is particularly aggressive. As any scientist would, Meera Choi refuses to come to decisive conclusions but shares her informed opinion. “Thoughtful research on the subject would be necessary, but I think a large part of the South Korean patriarchy relates to its military culture. Since South Korea is still in conflict with North Korea, all men between the ages of 18 and 35 are required to do two years of military service. I believe that it is in the military that men make the objectification of women their common culture. This bond persists even after their service, especially in the workplace. In my interviews it became a common theme to find women talking about coworkers who get together after hours and frequent brothels, it's part of the local workplace culture.” This sense of community is strengthened in the face of the 4Bs movement. South Korean men pronounce themselves victims of feminism and, like any intelligent politician, President Yoon capitalizes on this sentiment. In his election campaign, the politician consistently declared that sexism was not a problem in South Korea, threatening to increase the punishment for women who report sexual crimes. One of the first measures he implemented when he became president was to remove the term gender equality from school textbooks. About the decision, one of his party members publicly stated, “If you think equality and feminism are so important, then let them practice it on their own time with their own money.”

The political division that arises from these kinds of measures is precisely the issue that Meera Choi is focusing on. “In the most recent elections, the statistics were frightening, the division of votes was separated between the female and male gender.” According to the sociologist, this separation has implications that go beyond the political spectrum and could explain the demographic crisis. “There needs to be some form of consensus in political or moral terms to create intimacy. Suppose a woman knows that a man doesn't believe in her rights. In that case, it's hard to feel secure enough to enter into a romantic relationship.” Choi calls the phenomenon the “rise of heterosexual refusal”, identifying it as the source of a sentiment that equates motherhood with a political weapon. “It's not just radical feminists, there's a shared sentiment opposing the way the government deals with systemic sexism. I've interviewed several women who tell me that 'if I give birth it means I'm helping the government, if we do what they want it means they'll never change their approach'.” The sociologist laughs when I ask her if she can think of any way to remedy the situation. “It's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, the situation is getting worse and worse. Anti-feminist sentiment is becoming more and more widespread and the opposition between the sexes is becoming deeper and deeper. You can't even mention the term feminism, it's a derogatory word. There's no room for discussion, the first step would have to be a white flag to the feminist movement.” Until then, the narrative doesn't change: women are blamed for the country's demographic problems. The sociologist doesn't see a way forward until structural sexism is recognized as a problem. “The most sexist country is the country that says sexism doesn't exist.” 

Translated from the original on Vogue Portugal's Mother Nature issue, published May 2024. Full stories and credits in the print issue.