Who can say they've never walked past a scaffolding only to hear someone yell from above “You're good enough eat”? Of course, it is offensive, invasive, and defiant.
Who can say they have never walked past a scaffolding only to hear someone yell from above “You're good enough to eat”? Of course, it is offensive, invasive, and defiant. There were even laws trying to prevent it from happening. But there is also something incredibly Portuguese implicit in it. Because to eat is the epitome of pleasure. And there are people in it way over their head. Over their head and of the rest of their body too.

Two thousand and twenty-two years ago, give and take a couple, there was one night of partying that went down into history. Partying is probably an excessive term to characterize a dinner among friends hosted by a chap who, apparently, had very important things to announce: “And don’t get all excited just yet, I am not marrying Mary Magdalene and there will be no bachelor party nor any other filthiness, we have the invading empire and their regular feasts for that”, we can imagine JC telling his apostles, recalling the spread of the night before around the Governor of Judea’s palace, a bloke so-called Pontius Pilate, with Bacchae, vestals and ephebes in complete ruckus, the eunuchs guarding the door, the whole village unable to sleep, plus a reeking smell of carving red in the air so strong you couldn’t even lay a toga. Anyway, the dinner went on. Nobody knows why, but since there were no photographers, Leonardo da Vinci was there to paint the whole thing. In a weird way, yes, because all the lads were on one side of the table, but we’ll leave that time’s usual table seating plans of the West Bank to them. Nonetheless, the thing stuck, and it was forever remembered as The Last Supper. Around that time, Judas had already “sold” Jesus to the Romans for thirty pieces of silver, which conferred him a very guilty look, but that everyone deemed as ordinary moodiness, since drinking that much cheap wine only with olives and unleavened bread can take a toll on the stomach. Rumor has it that the presence of Mary Magdalene was omitted from the paintings and scripture and that she was, in fact, there, since, according to Saramago in The Gospel According To Jesus Christ, they were inseparable since the scene of the stoning. But for what we need to remember about it, one of the Apostles, Saint Paul recalls what happened, in the 1 Corinthians chapter 11 verse 23-25: “For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, ‘This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.’ In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.’" And just like that, the Eucharist was instituted, the center and heart of all liturgies. It is then that the priest will take the wafer (representing the bread) and says: “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” Then holds the cup with the wine and says: “’This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.’ For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.” According to the Council of Trent, which took place between 1545 and 1563, it was decided that yes, “Christ is ‘really, truly, substantially present’ in the consecrated forms, and the sacrifice of the Mass was to be offered for dead and living alike and in giving to the apostles the command ‘do this in remembrance of me’, Christ conferred upon them a sacerdotal power.” Meaning, this to what we call Consecration has a literal meaning. To eat the body of Jesus and drink his blood is the highest standing in a temple (church) created with that intent. Therefore, the civilizational basis of the West is set on figurative anthropology. How did it resist to our day and age, a time when society is, to put it nicely, pettier and pettier? It is a true mystery.
Going back to the initial question. It is not just the scaffolding, that weird urban tree that gives back fruit who whistles and claims: “The things I would do to you.” Those amongst us who were never lucky enough to hear, from someone burning with some desire: “Eat me”, may throw the first bucket of concrete. There are also more specific ones, who ask to be “eaten all the way”, giving out the indication that they want the dish to be empty at the end and don’t empathize with those who leave little crusts on the side of the plate; there are those who say they will “eat you all night”, an empty promise most of the time, typical of those who bite more than they can chew, not really able to handle dessert at the end; and then there are the childish ones, claiming “vou-te papar” when in fact the only thing they’re ready to do is take a nap. The use of food terminology to refer to the sexual act is particularly Portuguese. If we say to an English speaker “I’m going to eat you”, he will run like Clarice from Hannibal Lecter. Only the Portuguese are brave enough to put food and sex at the same level of pleasure. The French, when foreplay takes place near a table of delicious delights, are famous for pulling the towel, throwing everything on the ground, from the camembert to the croissants, only to lay the slender feminine body on top of it and get down to business. When faced with the same situation, the Portuguese wouldn’t dare to not try the prosciutto first, take a little bite of chouriça, taste the cornbread, and push it all down with an old glass of red. Not at all. They would do it all but along with so characteristically and romantically saying: “What a fine beast!” Seriously though, this thing about eating our body is screwed up. The 12 Portuguese who accompanied Anthony Knivet, an English privateer who lived the last decade of the XVI century with the Tupinamba Indigenous Tribe, in Guanabara Bay and Paraty (Brazil), having also learned the Tupi language, could say it. If you haven’t had anything to eat yet, you can read the following excerpt of the book The Admirable Adventures and Strange Fortunes of Master Antonie Knivet, where you can read about his capture by the Tamoio tribe: “Within two houres after they had examined us, they tooke one of the Portugals , and tied a new roape about his middle, and carried him into a yard, with three Indians holding a cord on the one side, and three on the other side, and the Portugall in the middest, there came an old man, and bid him looke on all things, that he liked, and told him that he should bid them farewell, for hee should see them no more: then there came a lustie yong man, with his armes and face died red, and said unto him, doest thou see me, I am he that hath killed many of thy Nation, and will kill thee. After he had spake all this, he came behinde the Portugall, and strooke him on the nape of the necke, that he felled him to the ground, and after hee was downe gave him another that hee killed him; then they tooke the tooth of a Conie and opened all the upper skinne, so they tooke him by the head and the feete, and held him in the flame of the fire: after that, rubbing him with their hands, all the upper skin came of, and the flesh remained white, then they cut off his head, and gave it to him: they tooke the guts, and gave them to the women, after which they jointed him joint by joint, first hands, then elbowes, and so all the body. After which, they sent to every house a peece, then they fell a dancing, and all the women made great store of Wine: the next day they boiled every joint in a great pot of water, because their wives and children might eate of the broth; for the space of three dayes they did nothing but dance and drinke day and night: after that they killed another in the same manner as you have heard, and so served all but my selfe.” Ah, so much exoticism, such poor timing for a trip to the tropics. Before we begin with prejudices already, let it be noted that anthropophagy is different than cannibalism. In the first, you eat human flesh as part of a ritual. In the other, as a food habit or in case of absolute necessity. The Aztecs, for instance, were exophagic, because they fed on the flesh of other tribes, their enemies, according to a very characteristic ritual. But there are also records of endophagic peoples, this is, who feed on those they resemble and, often, on members of their own family. In Fiji, only the tribal leaders had the right to eat the flesh of people deemed as special in their community. In Papua New Guinea, the Fore fed on their dead, a practice that continued to take place until the end of the XX century, when there was an outburst of Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease due to it, forcing its extinction. More recently, in the 90s, Civil War in Liberia was known for hosting rebels that ate their enemies to absorb their “powers”. When it comes to pure and simple cannibalism, recent history recalls episodes such as the one of 1846, when a group of 60 people got trapped in a storm in Sierra Nevada, California, and, to survive, had to feed on those who had passed away due to the cold. Or the famous crash of the 571 Uruguay’s Air Force plane that carried a rugby team (Old Christians Club) in 1972. Out of the 46 people inside it, only 16 survived. To do so, they had to resort to the flesh of the other mortal victims.
A much more romantic view on the act of eating the body can be found in Nyotaimori, which in Japanese means “to serve (food and derivatives) on a feminine body.” Basically, it’s a sashimi or sushi meal served on a naked woman, which became famous in the West when Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) wanted to welcome a sexual partner this way, ending up being royally stood up and eating away the sushi herself, in one of the episodes from the show Sex and the City. A woman lies down, preferably facing up, immobile, can’t talk to the fellow eaters and is there to serve as a giant “platter” where the Japanese specialties are available. It is considered a form of art and, before you think it’s sexist, may the bachelorette partiers rejoice: there is a male version and it is called Nantaimori. Bad news, you filthy animals, the utmost decorum is expected from the guests, even after the ingestion of excessive quantities of sake or champagne, which traditionally accompany this meal. This type of food play (sexual excitement involving food – yes, following that scene in Nine and a Half Weeks featuring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger) began during the Edo Period (1603-1867), in the Yukaku, legal red-light neighborhoods, where both the brothels and the prostitutes were not only famous but also operated by the government. It’s what’s left from the then ultra-famous Wakamezake, that art of pouring sake over a woman’s pelvic area and drinking it from there (the movie Empire of the Senses, by Nagisa Oshima, is quite explicit on that level). It resisted the passage of centuries thanks to the samurais who, when returning from their battles, enjoyed celebrating their victories by eating sushi from the bodies of geishas. The yakuza, the Japanese mafia, and their characteristic body-covering tattoos of koi fish (a tradition also dating back to the samurai warriors), were also avid consumers of what is considered today an incredibly respected art form in Japan, and one that obeys a strict code of conduct. There are countless Nyotaimori restaurants in Tokyo, but not just there. They can be found in every Japanese city and yet, they found fans beyond borders too. In fact, the respect for other cultures can put critics very much into perspective when it comes to the objectification of women. Even in Portugal, it is possible to hire a company to host a Nyotaimori dinner at your house. All we need to do now is explain to the Portuguese a small detail that, from where I’m standing, is a bit hard to understand… You can’t eat salmon sushi or sashimi. If you want a preview of the reaction of any Japanese before such sight, try to put pineapple on pizza in front of someone from Naples. Or worse, cut the spaghetti.
Originally published in The Body Issue, from Vogue Portugal, published march 2022.Full credits and article on the print issue.
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